In retrospect, almost all of us had the bitter experience of \"being dominated by achievements\" when we were children: the whole family was happy and the food was good and the food was good and the food was good.
When the child's examination is poor, the attitude and reaction of the parents deeply affect the child's self-evaluation, the cognition of learning, and the way he thinks and behaves in the future.
Many parents do not allow their children to test bad, may feel humiliated, or too anxious, through a performance as if to see the child's future, so easy to lose control of the mood, venting anger at the child.
After reading a news, a 12-year-old boy in luoyang, henan did not achieve the expected score of 95 points, only 81 points, was thrown by his mother in a high-speed intersection.
Secondly, if the failure to test the matter itself will damage the child's self-confidence, then combined with the criticism of parents, the child will be more inferiority complex, produce negative self-suggestion, feel that they are \"stupid \",\" not the material for learning \", easy to abandon themselves, tired of learning.
In addition, parents'negative emotions and negative blows will damage the parent-child relationship. And the parent-child relationship is greater than education, only if the parent-child relationship is good, the words of the parents will have influence on the children, the children will respect, trust the parents, and be willing to listen to the advice of the parents.
No matter how bad the child is, parents should first put their own anxious heart, do a good job of emotional management, gently and firmly on the child's side, become a child's teammate, and the child to defeat the problem.
Encourage children, teach children to face setbacks and failures, learn to deal with the resulting disappointments, depression, self-blame and other emotions, which is of great significance to children throughout their lives.
Regardless of the child's test, parents should focus on the child's own growth and progress, find the child's little changes and progress, give affirmation, this is the source of the child's confidence.
Until the mother saw the results of the younger brother, ready to be angry, but suddenly thought of one night to meet the younger brother in the room seriously doing exercises, small hands constantly rubbed tired eyes, forced to sleep hard to keep awake look.
The mother is intelligent, she doesn't judge how the child is because of one achievement, know how to see what is behind the child's achievement and the effort she makes in the process.
We should see what children's achievements reflect, help them analyze, whether they are careless, inadequate practice, learning attitude problems, learning ability, method problems, or life or interpersonal factors affecting learning, all of which require equal and patient communication between parents and children.
Parents also need to reflect on their own way of education, whether in the study of children too much arranged, too much control, or because of busy and lack of guidance, resulting in children develop bad study habits, and so on.
After discovering the problem, we should take practical action pertinently, make a plan, discuss the solution with the child together, through proper supervision and guidance, solve the problem really.
When children should be poor education, in fact, there is no unified standard answer, under the guidance of the above three major directions, parents also need to adjust the specific way according to their children's characteristics, personality.
High marks do not praise, low scores do not scold, with gentle and rational mood, sincere encouragement, practical improvement measures to guide, believe that children will be more and more excellent results.
Qian Zhiliang, famous teacher of Beijing Normal University. Class 86, returned to school in 1994, phd. The research focuses on child development counselling and education for children with special needs. Personal Public Number: Qian Zhiliang Studio (ID: qzlgzs)